cowards way out

Hey,
It took me ages to work out how to start this letter, so I started it with would could be seen as a simple greeting, however when I saw you the other day on the bus and I could have so easily sat beside you uttered these words and told you what I have wanted to tell you for a long time, I instead decided to sit two rows in front and busy myself with reading a book to make myself look intelligent, because you always have been, and always will be, to me the cleverest person in the world. And maybe if I was wearing that mascara, from that advert on the telly at the moment, you know the one that goes "there he was and there it was ..... ex or exit" yer well maybe I could have told you all this in person. Its not like I haven't had the opportunity - you don't know how badly I have wanted to talk to you for the last 6 months, I feel like the other day was like my last chance because your moving schools and house (I think) - and just moving on in general and that is something I can't seem to do. I don't love you in that way and will dare to say I never did, but my admiration for you has grown over the years and I really wish we were still on speaking terms . I will admit that I recognise your voice before I see you . I know your laugh and even though there is new clothes and hair cuts you still look the same to me, slightly to thin and pale and gangly which shouldn't work because your not that tall.And I see you having a laugh and a joke with the pretty girls and wonder,  if I was more like that would you still see me not as a girlfriend but just as a friend - I wonder if you have just traded me in for a newer model.In my head I think I know the moment I wrecked it because however much I tell myself it wasn't, I know, it was my fault. I pressured you for sex - well I didn't but the last conversation I remember having with you was laughing about gay sex and something I heard on the radio but you didn't seem to find it as funny as me and my memory has turned that wide smile that looks slightly to big for your face  with dimples showing as you throw back your head and barked out a laugh into a disgusted look and to be honest I'm not sure entially which one it was and even though I know that is probably not the reason you ended it with me, it is in my head. Because I think I just need a reason, a totally stupid reason to hate myself for losing a great person from my life - I don't miss the relationship, in the nicest way possible it was never a lot. But the friendship now that, that was special because you were a big part of my life, hey you have been nearly half of my life so far .

All I really wanted to say was thank you .... for teaching me how to be a good friend. You were there for me when  needed someone. Looking back I know you had my back over everything you were the person behind me through it all, pushing me forward to get what I want and making sure I didn't turn and run when it all got to much. You taught me that nice words never hurt anyone and a smile goes a long way. That listening is key and that there is always time to listen and help somebody else ... that judging is pointless people need to just be excepted and worrying about  being judged is pointless to.  You taught me how to love both people and thinks and if I love something then so what that's just me and finally no dream is to big.  "don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game"

I wasn't quite sure how to end this. I didn't want anything to formal or to lovey dovey. So I decided to end this the way I started, with something simple. Because this is closure .... I think. *deep breath* This is the end of whatever we had and lost. The final page of the book.So

Thank you for reading I would like to thank my editor for ... I kid .


So from the heart I say thank you ... for everything.
Live long and prosper.





I hope one day to bump into you and see that smile of yours and know you have found the greatest thing of all happiness.


Bye

I worry that there are people out there that think the higg's boson is to do with Scientology

I don't care coz hater's gunna hate hehe x

I feel people jump on the band wagging to quickly.


"Hater's gunna hate"

now this is a good way of looking at things if you are putting yourself out there. If you are doing something you love and putting that out there for others to have opinions on. So if you are a musician, comedian or TV present. and your making something you believe in, well some people aren't going to like it and "hater's gunna hate" works. This boils down more to just people doing controversial stuff like that twitter "celebrity" who was talking about Justin Beiber being better then Jesus and Micheal Jackson and everybody started just jumping on board and being all like "WTF ????? how could you say this - out raged" then you know she could use the whole hater thing......


But when you name a photo of you on facebook where you are not doing anything that could cause hate towards you or are hating something, you are just standing there, haters gunna hate that is just silly, you're just a school kid you have no hater's.


Now I'm not saying don't get a moral behind this phrase of,  there are always people who aren't going to like you or what your doing but you know you can't stop them from feeling like that just focus on the people around you that love and support you.



Oh this was really fun i might start a series .......no properly not.
( side not i just conjoined the work series and serious together and didn't notice because words baffle me )



If anyone can tell me what that stick it, pin it website is called then please do