New Year

5,4,3,2,1 and we are back to whatever this is.

So I was away for Christmas and new year and school leaves no time to blog. But I have returned with my thoughts on new years. Just why ???
 People use it as a point where they can make a decision in about 5 minutes about what they want to change about themselves in the next year because they feel society wants them to. I don't do new years resolutions at this time general, I sort of stumble across mine when I sort of feel there is something that is irking away at me that I want to try.

It is thought that new years use to be on the 25th of march, and was celebrated as the day mother Mary was told she was pregnant with god's son but we switched calendars and it moved. Traditionally it was a religious feast but now its just celebration of new beginnings and all that jazz.

Surprising this year I have two new years resolutions and I will talk about one know  and the other one in future if I get the guts to do it.

So for my whole life I have been scared of heights. And I forget about it until I am in a situation that requires be to be at a height. But this year I am going to start to get over this fear with my four point plan.

1. Jump off a table with out working yourself up for hours beforehand
2. climb a tree to a branch above head height
3.go down a fireman's pole at a children's play park

and final go rock climbing

so I will let you know how it goes :D

x

cowards way out

Hey,
It took me ages to work out how to start this letter, so I started it with would could be seen as a simple greeting, however when I saw you the other day on the bus and I could have so easily sat beside you uttered these words and told you what I have wanted to tell you for a long time, I instead decided to sit two rows in front and busy myself with reading a book to make myself look intelligent, because you always have been, and always will be, to me the cleverest person in the world. And maybe if I was wearing that mascara, from that advert on the telly at the moment, you know the one that goes "there he was and there it was ..... ex or exit" yer well maybe I could have told you all this in person. Its not like I haven't had the opportunity - you don't know how badly I have wanted to talk to you for the last 6 months, I feel like the other day was like my last chance because your moving schools and house (I think) - and just moving on in general and that is something I can't seem to do. I don't love you in that way and will dare to say I never did, but my admiration for you has grown over the years and I really wish we were still on speaking terms . I will admit that I recognise your voice before I see you . I know your laugh and even though there is new clothes and hair cuts you still look the same to me, slightly to thin and pale and gangly which shouldn't work because your not that tall.And I see you having a laugh and a joke with the pretty girls and wonder,  if I was more like that would you still see me not as a girlfriend but just as a friend - I wonder if you have just traded me in for a newer model.In my head I think I know the moment I wrecked it because however much I tell myself it wasn't, I know, it was my fault. I pressured you for sex - well I didn't but the last conversation I remember having with you was laughing about gay sex and something I heard on the radio but you didn't seem to find it as funny as me and my memory has turned that wide smile that looks slightly to big for your face  with dimples showing as you throw back your head and barked out a laugh into a disgusted look and to be honest I'm not sure entially which one it was and even though I know that is probably not the reason you ended it with me, it is in my head. Because I think I just need a reason, a totally stupid reason to hate myself for losing a great person from my life - I don't miss the relationship, in the nicest way possible it was never a lot. But the friendship now that, that was special because you were a big part of my life, hey you have been nearly half of my life so far .

All I really wanted to say was thank you .... for teaching me how to be a good friend. You were there for me when  needed someone. Looking back I know you had my back over everything you were the person behind me through it all, pushing me forward to get what I want and making sure I didn't turn and run when it all got to much. You taught me that nice words never hurt anyone and a smile goes a long way. That listening is key and that there is always time to listen and help somebody else ... that judging is pointless people need to just be excepted and worrying about  being judged is pointless to.  You taught me how to love both people and thinks and if I love something then so what that's just me and finally no dream is to big.  "don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game"

I wasn't quite sure how to end this. I didn't want anything to formal or to lovey dovey. So I decided to end this the way I started, with something simple. Because this is closure .... I think. *deep breath* This is the end of whatever we had and lost. The final page of the book.So

Thank you for reading I would like to thank my editor for ... I kid .


So from the heart I say thank you ... for everything.
Live long and prosper.





I hope one day to bump into you and see that smile of yours and know you have found the greatest thing of all happiness.


Bye

I worry that there are people out there that think the higg's boson is to do with Scientology

I don't care coz hater's gunna hate hehe x

I feel people jump on the band wagging to quickly.


"Hater's gunna hate"

now this is a good way of looking at things if you are putting yourself out there. If you are doing something you love and putting that out there for others to have opinions on. So if you are a musician, comedian or TV present. and your making something you believe in, well some people aren't going to like it and "hater's gunna hate" works. This boils down more to just people doing controversial stuff like that twitter "celebrity" who was talking about Justin Beiber being better then Jesus and Micheal Jackson and everybody started just jumping on board and being all like "WTF ????? how could you say this - out raged" then you know she could use the whole hater thing......


But when you name a photo of you on facebook where you are not doing anything that could cause hate towards you or are hating something, you are just standing there, haters gunna hate that is just silly, you're just a school kid you have no hater's.


Now I'm not saying don't get a moral behind this phrase of,  there are always people who aren't going to like you or what your doing but you know you can't stop them from feeling like that just focus on the people around you that love and support you.



Oh this was really fun i might start a series .......no properly not.
( side not i just conjoined the work series and serious together and didn't notice because words baffle me )



If anyone can tell me what that stick it, pin it website is called then please do

When I'm bored I put mine or my friends names into a web address; www. "insert name" .com or .co.UK. I suggest you do this because although their will be many boring websites you will eventually end up at a porn site or better that a lesbian travel website (no I didn't know that excised either) and makes it all worth out - epically as if like me you image the website as an visual representation of that person.

sometimes you end up with a picture of a child in  sponge bob top that just baffles you

best game ever
x

I have watched a few of the Britain unzipped episodes and this has made me wander how weird am I. I know that I am weird: take today i walked in to science saying " Swiper no swiping" because I had a backpack on, I momentarily convinced myself I knew 1/5 of one direction because Jordan has dyed his hair blonde and Alex is Irish so if you combine them using FUSION they make Niall, right ? Can you see why I want to test my normality, however I have decided not to use the Britain unzipped one as its not really for my age range.So I shall go find one .... bear/bare with me.

 I'm perfect !!!!
Apparently lets do more fun quizzes and see what happens

However on a different test I'm only 45% normal

"While some of your behaviour is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself "


 ..... (If this is because I answered the last question wrong I apologise but I don't know which option described best how often I have sex, you don't really have an option that went along the lines of Never)

write this time I am doing am I  a  normal girl quiz and I will show you the questions.

a.		A romance
b.		A black-and-white oldie
c.		An action movie
d.		A horror movie

I love a good old rom com

2.	Your ultimate snack food is:
a.		Sushi
b.		Sandwich
c.		Chips and dip
d.		fingernails

3.	When it comes to guys you:
a.		Are pretty friendly and pal around with them
b.		Hang all over them
c.		Get to know them and see if you want to just be friends or friendly-r- then friends
d.		Act cute and harmlessly flirt

I'm bored moving on.

OK i got another normal.


I may have realised this is a lot more fun for me than for you oh well lets do some ransomer's ...

oh  what role do i play in class : The girly ...OK its nice to be reminded of my gender


Right this was meant to be all light hearted fun but I'm not very good at that so after many normality quizzes I have a little thoughtful bit ...

What is "NORMAL" ? well nobody knows. We all see it differently, so for me somebody I feel to be normal could be insane to you and then there are people you found abnormal like my friend Norbert (OK that's not his name but its less unusual then his actual name) but there abnormal behaviour becomes part of your day to day normality and you love them to pieces because they're them and deep down they are amazing people.

Now I think your and my favourite poet Carol Ann Duffy sums it up pretty well in Liar everyone is strange just some people hide it better then others, or some are more open about it than others, some people feel as if they have nothing to hide and others everything. Its all just a matter of opinion; like if you believe in astrology or you think its bollocks. But in my eyes everyone is beautiful and should never feel any different.

I'm officially the CEREAL GAME CHAMPION.

Yes this is how my family spent there Easter trying to pick up a cereal box with only there teeth after watching my aunt wade through a river in jeans and some silly slip on shoes to be "down with the kids",
this aunt did an excellent impression of a chicken when she attempted to pick up the box and my dad well he squashed the box. And well seeing a 60 year old fall in a hedge is sometimes just to funny.

now i may of drawn in this challenge with an 8 year old and a 4 year old. but for the most un-flexible person i know i was proper chuffed i beat my cousin - who's closer to my age. ha ha in his face now you may thing this is spiteful but you know every time i see him he asks me about life in prison - this joke has gone on to long, years ago it came the time to lay it to rest but no, we must continue with the snide remarks.


that i shall have to listen to tomorrow in my grans now favourite restaurant, its Chinese - my favourite (hint my sarcasm) and its buffet. YAY BUFFET TIME. oh how fun will it be to sit with my too oddball side of the family when i want to be in bed asleep.

When i say asleep i mean resting my stretched muscles from the cereal game.

on over notes i found my CD payer once again which has made me fall in love with the radio and those round disks the world has seemed to forgotten.I have one small issue i forgot to leaving my CD collection consisting of Hannah Montana, pop party and pop princess 2, i need new Cd's.